It was the middle of the day and the sun was beaming down hard. I was sitting on a ledge waiting for a friend of mine to get out of his therapist meeting. We were going to have lunch. I skipped my Calculus class because I was feeling down. I couldn’t bring myself to sit through another lecture, though I needed to go.

I was waiting on the corner of Victoria and State right across the street from Ce Dior. It’s an Italian restaurant I believe and I was admiring the little quaint curtains that framed the window. Then I looked down at my feet. I noticed a hole in the toe of my right boot, and it was my favorite pair of shoes. I started criticizing myself for not having a better job and being broke to the point where you can’t afford the simplest things you need. Then my mind wondered off to my friends. A couple is going through a divorce, and I’ve been trying to hear out both sides. A close friend of mine is being deployed back to the Marines though he was let go with an honorable discharge. It just felt like the world that I have worked so hard to build up was crumbling down all around me. It was one of those moments when you start to think, what is life worth living for if you don’t have anything to offer to it and it doesn’t have anything to offer you. I began to feel shame for letting go of my aspirations and goals. I began to kick myself about not sticking with school, and I started to understand what my mother always told me. “You’ll never be anything more than a maid.”

But the cars stopped passing by because the light was red. I looked up noticing that the sound had stopped. In a small bright red car, was a round woman. She had dirty blond hair with lighter streaks every here and there. She had rosy cheeks and must have been about forty. At first I looked past her. But I started looking at her. I noticed every detail, and probably because it took my mind off things for a moment. She had a dolphin swinging from her rear view mirror. It was blue, and looked like it was made out of a hard gel. She had creases on the outer edges of her eyes and was wearing a floral top. Her hair looked like the 1950’s bob and she looked happy. She rested her head on the top of her seat basking in the sunlight. I admired her joy. She turned to look at me and I like to think she felt what I was feeling at the moment. She held my gaze for a brief second, while most just turn and look away. She smiled at me. Her eyes scrunched up and her creases were easier to detect when she did. But she had a beautiful smile. And it made me smile.

This wasn’t just any ordinary smile though. It was a smile that made my heart skip a beat. I smiled inside and out. It was like light was dancing at my feet and I needed to get up and move away. I like to think that she knew all the work and struggles that have gone throughout my short life. And that she too, went through the same but made it out okay. I couldn’t take it. I looked back down at my shoes. When I looked back at her, she was resting her head against the seat again. This time, a soft and gentle smile was on her face while her eyes were closed. When the light turned green she drove off. But she made my day worth while. It was just her small generosity of sharing a smile with me. Sharing a moment of complete happiness. It washed over me and thinking about it now it seems like something that I just made up.

But I’ve decided to smile at random people more. Hopefully they’ll feel what I felt.