Fucking Assholes.

I titled this to hopefully help with the Google search for the sake of our blog. And I do apologize for the crude language.

But, one of my customers was a bit of an ass. I don’t think me meant much by it, because he is older.

Here’s the story:

I am Asian. Korean, more specifically (yes this does have relevance to what the story is about). Two couples sitting in one of booths in the section that I waited on tonight came in with the same expectations as any customers do. I have never had a problem racially wise with the customers that I wait on, but I have had problems with the ones that I don’t. He looked to be about mid-eighties and was hunched over like a giant hand was curving him towards the ground. A pudgier little thing with hair so white it would be able to blend nicely with snow.

None of them were all that talkative until the food came out. He made small talk with me like how most of the elderly community does. We touched upon school and I told him that I was studying to become a pharmacist but might be leaning more on the side of a surgeon. He automatically thought that I was trying to become a surgeon’s nurse. So I lied to him and made up some story about different nursing schools that I wanted to go to. He told me that he thought I would make a good nurse, which was sweet of him if that’s the career I was actually intending to get into. Now I figured that he must have misheard me because I did, in fact, had to repeat my name several times before he got it right. After we talked I pretended that I was busy so I could go socialize with myself seeing that I didn’t feel like speaking very much with my co-workers. Except asking them if they would sign the letter I am going to write to PETA.

On a different note, I have so far sixteen yeses and one maybe.

Back to the story: I came back to check on how the food was tasting and to refill some of the beverages. The little man looked at me and said that his friend over there was trying to use chopsticks. I didn’t have much to say so I asked how she did. He said that she did okay, and then she pointed to what chopsticks she used, acting as if the type of chopsticks played a role in how awful she was at using them. I pretended to laugh and he laughed as well not picking up the hint. Then he told me that he thinks that I would do a much better job because I am Asian. Huh. Well, I am Asian, and he’s right. I would do a better job.

This actually doesn’t offend me, (whoa, I just tried to spell offend with an “a”), but figured it was good enough to blog about. Other than that, I don’t have much to say except I am feeling extreme pleasure that my Peta project is soon to go under way.

There was a video that I was going to post, but I forgot what it was plus my youtube isn’t working at the moment.

I have a feeling that I am going to get shit about this blog. Don’t worry, I am preparing myself.

top ten reasons why you aren’t reading this

10.) live in cave
9.) perpetually unmotivated
8.) Nicolas Cage night on tnt
7.) suffering from a crushed skull
6.) fighting against PETA
5.) fighting for PETA
4.) lost everything in the market crash; too po’ for internet
3.) left universe by accidentally venturing through the 5th dimension.
2.) playing vector tower defense
1.) stupid

contemporary misgivings at the Forefront Crackporn

I noticed today that contemporary misgivings had another crack and porn related search engine referral, “naked crack smoking pictures” in addition to “women fucking and smoking crack”.  This can be attributed Esmé Pestel’s quirk of adding crack smoking to otherwise common porn search terms, which I have since endorsed.

Curious, I went on a general crack smoking and debauchery bender and searched for these terms. Here are the front page results from google:

:

We are doing quite well in the “women fucking and smoking crack” category, controlling both a direct link in the 5th slot and links to posts made exclusively by contemporary misgivings in numéro uno.  So if you want some variety, telling your friends to search for women fucking and smoking crack and hitting “I’m feeling lucky” is a viable alternative to just giving them the name of the blog.

We’re not doing quite as well in general nude crack smoking, but still manage to hit the first page ranking in at #9.  And look at that title; what kind of naked crack smoking enthusiast wouldn’t click the shit out of that?

All I can say is this could mean big things for contemporary misgivings and I applaud Esmé’s uncannily sagacious role in vaulting us to the top of the emerging crackporn genre.

 

Also, I’ve hired a two-man hitman and private eye team to take out the wordpress developer who made pressing the delete key in a fucking text editing box (albeit an empty one) be the same as hitting the back button.  If pressed in a text box, the delete key has business doing only 2 things: deleting shit or nothing at all.

Fun with Limericks.

Regarding the current election,
I have carefully made my selection.
Mccain likes to grunt
That his wife is a Cunt
And Mr. Obama just gives me an erection.

Apparently “Cunt” is on his mind quite a bit, here’s a clip from Howard Stern of him making a Freudian slip.