Awesome Speech About John McCain from the GOP Convention Thursday

*Update*: The popularity of this post is a little bit eerie.  For all of you who thought this was a stirring example of speechifying, I regret to inform you this is actually a parody of typical Republican speeches about John McCain that I wrote.  It was not, in fact, given at the GOP convention.

Did anyone else hear this speech @ the GOP convention tonight? I don’t know the name of the guy who delivered it (he was white, looked to be in his mid 50’s), but I was blown away:

“I want to talk to you tonight about John McCain. You’ve been hearing about how his years in the senate and his military service make him the best candidate for the office. You bet they do. He has proven, time and time again, he has the grit and the determination to fight for what he believes in until the very last. But there’s another element of this that hasn’t been much talked about here. You see, John McCain’s lifetime has straddled the two most important conflicts of the past century. The way he has acted in the face of each of these challenges show that he embodies what we look for in great presidents: not the values he possesses, which, indeed, are common to all of us; but the way in which he defended them.

As a fighter pilot, McCain bravely flew mission after mission over North Vietnam for his country. He knew that more was at stake than a simple victory like any other; this was a battle of values. The Vietnamese communists, like their Soviet counterparts, hated how we lived. As Godless communists, they hated our religion. As dictators, unable to take criticism, they hated our freedom and our individual liberty. As jealous tyrants impoverished by their own system, they hated our markets and our prosperity. John McCain knew this well, for he spent 5 years in hell on Earth: the Hanoi Hilton. He was beaten, tortured, and taunted for who he was, and more importantly, for what he represented. You see, John McCain is the American promise. He refused to back down, and he refused to go home when offered freedom by his captors because going home without his fellow soldiers was no victory, but a retreat. McCain, and our values that he represented, won a victory every time he refused to give in. Finally, the war ended, and John McCain was freed, but the challenge continued. All the negotiations and appeasement of the democrats had no effect – Communism just kept expanding. It took a Republican president with real values to put a stop to it and do what we all knew had to be done. Ronald Reagan, with all of our help, faced down this challenge and defeated it. As a loyal soldier in the Reagan Revolution after he returned from Vietnam, John McCain was there.

Today, we face an equal, if not greater task: the transcendent challenge of Islamic fundamentalism. Like the communists, they thrive on people’s misery. Like the communists, they are not above lying and propaganda to win people to their side. And, like the communists, they hate everything we stand for. But unlike the communists, they are so full of hatred for us they are willing to destroy themselves and engage in cowardly acts of terrorism. Our enemy now has no one state. But we know where he thrives: any place there is misery and suffering, one can step out, and blame it all on the United States. On our religion, on our prosperity, on our cherished freedom. On 9/11, that threat hit home far harder than any before. We pursued the murderers through Afghanistan, and we extended the war on terrorism to potential future threats like Saddam Hussein. John McCain had the foresight to support these actions. And while, as a member of the Senate Armed Services committee, he had been rightfully critical of some aspects of the handling of them, he always had the troops foremost in mind – and he never forgot: America is the greatest force for good in the world. Our cause is virtuous and just. And time has born out his correctness: even the liberal media now mostly acknowledges that last year’s surge was a success. The Republic of Iraq is becoming a thriving democracy and a strong ally. We have brought freedom to millions and struck a blow against Islamic Fundamentalism, not just materially, but psychologically. They know we Americans are unafraid.

A new era is upon us, of challenges from all sides. Be they in Iran or the Caucasus or elsewhere, John McCain has the experience to face them; not only because of his experience, but because of what he is: a man who has straddled the two great challenges to our values and prevailed – and continues to. “

Of course, there were tons of cheers in between. I even caught myself nodding silently in approval like the rest of the audience even though I was alone at home eating a sandwich! I knew John McCain was a hero and that that gave him the moral fiber to be president, but I’d never heard it put so succinctly.